Deviation
by Teenage-Oddball
Summary: [Humanized] The relationship between Edward and James has beyond the friendship that they once had. It's not that they're not enjoying their time together but the looming prospect of the romantic duties they'll eventually have to perform is all Edward can think about, and how on earth he is going to break it to James that he 'isn't all there.'


Author's Note:

 **Fandom:** Thomas And Friends (In this story, any characters present are in a humanized state.)

 **Pairing:** EdwardxJames

 **Warning:** Yaoi, Mild/Implied Hot n' Spicy Sexual Themes (bit of junk rubbing, tongue twister, that kind of thing but no full on hanky panky) and Foul Language. Also, don't read the  Author's Note at the bottom of the fan-fic unless you want the climax spoiled. He-heh, climax...

 **Enjoy!**

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Shit…

Shit, this is getting serious.

Shi-. Mm! Mm…

Edward found his train of thought grinding to a halt. Though he wasn't thinking aloud, James had interrupted him by taking up his lips with his own. Pleasure prickled Edward's skin like the sparks flying from the brakes of said train. Alas, it could not dispel that sickening feeling that lingered in his stomach. His anxiousness had crippled his ability to fully enjoy every moment he'd spent with James, let alone this one. Every time he'd took his hand, nuzzled him, put his arm around him, caressed his skin, exchanged a seemingly normal glance though they both knew it was riddled with crude thoughts, Edward knew it would eventually lead to this. Maybe the passion would dispel, he'd grow tired, someone would call them, Edward hoped. There was nothing more he could have wanted than for this moment to excel into something beyond what it had ever been. He knew James wanted that too and although he loved James deeply, passionately, he couldn't let it. He didn't want to disappoint him.

But James was already fueled by disappointed. Not with Edward mind, nor with himself. Just at the fact that moments like these, of which there were several in the history of their relationship, never went any further than a friendly game of tongue twister which drove him even further up the wall, as he proceeded to do with Edward. Taking his wrists to prevent escape, much to his partner's alarm, he backed him up against the wall. James kept his leading leg between both of Edward's, knowing every step would cause his thigh to brush against his junk. Wow, it was warm, just there.

Edward couldn't help but break the kiss, much to James displeasure. But, before he could even groan, Edward unleashed the sweetest, most delightful sigh of his own, entangled with the words, "Shit, James, that felt good," though they were barely legible. James snickered quietly. God, he was cute, he mused. 3 layers of clothing between that area and his touch and he let out a sound like that. James could only imagine the sounds he'd make when he actually got his hands around there. He'd hoped Edward was imagining it too but his tired eyes indicated his mind was elsewhere. James let go of one of his wrists and used the free hand to pinch Edward's chin, bringing his gaze back up to what was important.

Edward closed his eyes in an attempt to hide his anxiety from James's gaze but left himself open to pleasant surprises. He could feel James' muggy breath shroud his gaping mouth. It definitely reeked of sexual frustration. Before he could think to press his lips together, James bit his bottom lip playfully and traced his tongue lightly across the length of his mouth.

Taking Edward's shiver as a sign that he was welcomed to explore as he wished, he delved his tongue into familiar territory, coiling it around Edward's. He was immensely satisfied when Edward pressed his lips onto his own, wanting to keep the action where it was. He couldn't help it; as sick as he felt, the pleasure made every muscle in body fold into spasm, almost forcing him to act, to enhance the sensation.

Just to make sure he didn't pull away, James snaked the fingers of his free hand around Edward's neck (always a prime spot) before cupping his hand behind his head. It kept them engaged as Edward elicited a delightful moan from the touch which echoed in the space between them. The sound tickled James' tongue, stimulating a long overdue groan from himself. He attempted to displace it with a slow, sexy snicker, finding the sound of his own satisfaction a little off-putting.

As slow and sexy as the snicker was further convinced Edward that this was not going in his favor. Every little thing seemed to rattle him up the right way. He wanted more, so much more. But it couldn't; he wasn't ready. He was never ready. He wondered if he'd ever be. He didn't know how long he could keep diverting James' attention back onto himself and his enjoyment (not that it was a difficult task) before he demanded something more from Edward, that he felt he could never give him. But, never say never. Just, not now.

Edward slipped his free hand underneath James' shirt and lightly placed it upon his abdomen. Despite this, James suddenly broke their drawn-out salute to give out a gasp.

"Sorry," Edward exhaled as he developed a smirk. He felt somewhat calmer about the situation, "Cold hands?"

"Doesn't matter," James spoke between breaths, "Let me make it a little easier for you." With a light peck to let him know that he'd be back, he slipped off his shirt and tossed it to one side. Edward had a small opportunity to stretch his previously restrained wrist before James slipped his hands underneath his shirt to make sure he joined him, half naked also. "Come on, you too," He coaxed playfully, with another peck on the lips before running his warmer hands up Edward's torso and up his arms to tease the shirt off. James also took a small moment to admire his boyfriend's body, as opposed to his own. Edward was surprised James hadn't made his own assumptions about the scars beneath his chest. Maybe he had but Edward doubted that; he was far too inquisitive to keep things like that to himself.

While he had him infatuated, in a trance almost, Edward put his arm behind James' neck and pulled him into another kiss. He didn't seem to be fazed by it. He just held Edward's body and kept him close. Edward began to trace a finger across the protruding muscle of James' V-lines, heading for his junk. Edward out a little sigh. Christ, he wished he had those. As he left his partner's skin and reached the top button of his jeans, James tore away from their kiss to look down, wondering why the contact had stopped. Edward was careful when releasing a sigh of relief. This was beginning to flip back in his favor. The butterflies swirling in his stomach had calmed down, and he was even starting to enjoy himself. He just needed to keep the focus on James. He went straight for the top button of his jeans while he had James' focus.

In that moment where the bliss seemed to disperse, James realized what was happening. Edward was giving in every aspect of his being, especially in the passion department by James's experience. By god, it made his shiver with excitement just thinking about the things he could do with that mouth of his. He was an exceptionally good kisser. It wasn't that James didn't want a piece of that action but he felt obliged to return the favor. It's not as if he'd get nothing out of it.

"No way darlin'," James gently brushed Edward's hand away from his crotch. He grabbed his waist and pulled him sharply towards him. Edward couldn't help but wince at the jolt. His stomach began to spasm once more. He was sure it flipped when James whispered, "My turn now," knowing exactly what it meant.

"What do you mean?" Edward attempted to sound disenchanted in the hopes that James might change his mind of an ideal situation.

"Eddie, you know what I mean," James raised one of his perfectly plucked eyebrows, "Every time, every time, it's always you doing the leg work. Let me provide the bliss for a change."

What could Edward say to that? No, thank you? I'm a giver and it gets me off? James was set on this. He dove straight in to get it started, sliding the palm of one hand down Edward's abdomen and heading for his boxers, intending to travel beneath them, before a sweaty palm grabbed his wrist, this time.

"James," Edward wasn't about to forfeit his dignity but he couldn't be subtle anymore, "Please, don't..." He begged, letting his emotions drive his expression, as James let his, carelessly.

"Edward, what the frig' is wrong with you, seriously?" He tore from Edward's grasp and slammed both of his palms against the wall, the shadows of his arms keeping his partner enclosed and pressurized. Edward bit his inner lip as he rolled his eyes emphatically, to accentuate a feeling of annoyance rather than the offensive that question had caused him. James didn't need to see to know. He bowed his head for a moment to hide a deep sigh, bringing it back up with a small smirk, trying to crawl away from his angry spell. He slowly lifted his hands from the wall and gently slid them either side of Edward's neck "Eddie," He moaned playfully. Edward didn't dare look him in the eye. He tried to keep his face contorted into one of irritation, though he knew he was sorry. Fuck, James mentally scolded himself. That wasn't fair. "You need to trust me more with this beautiful body of yours," He tried to make Edward feel at ease, so clueless to the fact that he was still making him feel more uncomfortable.

"With the things you do to yours?" Edward replied, audacious and cool. He still felt a little tense but maybe they were both starting to cool down with this interlude of conversation.

"Eds, a bit of fake tan and some piercings are not gonna kill me," James rested his hands on Edward's hips, digging his little fingers under the rim of his jeans, "And a blowjob ain't gonna kill you."

Nope, Edward's hope sank as quickly as James did to his knees, now eye level with the top button of his jeans and with a very provocative smirk on his face. What seemed like a spiel of film detailing what James had intended to do once he undid said buttons ran across his hazel eyes, burning itself onto Edward's psyche. He couldn't formulate a way to tell James how much that wasn't going to happen without telling him what lay underneath, what had kept him at bay from love, until he met him. Still, Edward was still no more ready than he was 10 minutes ago because he didn't know what James would say. Though, he was a little more tempted to let it run its course; James was bound to have found out in his own time and he loved him enough to let him go that far. Yet, and yet, he still clasped his hands to his crotch when he felt James fiddle with the button.

James was stuck. Edward bore this face of fearfulness, despite his comfort. He was so curious; so willing to give but not to receive? James was baffled by that logic. He was almost as baffled by his next assumption, so much so that he thought aloud, as if it didn't make sense in his head. "Eddie, you're a virgin, aren't ya?'"

Edward became suspended in an expression of disbelief. Wow, this was strangely convenient. He wasn't wrong. He wasn't spot-on but he wasn't wrong.

His silence put words in his mouth that James took for fact, though he still didn't quite believe It; Given Eddie's age, but that was about it. Everything else made sense. It made James a little excited, he let out a little giggle. To be Edward's first, it would be an honour for both of them in James' eyes, "Hey," He said, his imagination putting a spring in his tone. He ignored the fact that Edward had turned away, his mind miles away once again, and popped a quick peck onto his cheek. He lingered close to his ear as he whispered, "Don't worry, I'll be dead gentle."

If ever there were times when Edward felt destitute, this was definitely the time when he felt the most helpless. He braced himself; he kept his cheek plastered against the wall and tightened to hide any expression, with his eyes clenched shut with a power that he hoped would numb the rest of his senses. Alas, it didn't. Edward knew exactly what James felt because he could feel it to.

Not even bothering with the button this time, James slid his hand down Edward's boxers. Although he was a little disappointed when Edward didn't respond to the touch, he put that down to nervousness. He kissed him softly on the cheek for comfort as he delved a little deeper, before he was deep enough to realize that something that wasn't there should have 'obstructed' him. Pausing for a moment to assess his surroundings, though it took him a while to process, he gathered from a slit beneath his fingers that this wasn't familiar territory.

All of a sudden, everything fell into place. He had the sense to conserve what was left of Edward's dignity and take his hand out of his boxers, albeit a little sharply, before he became too distracted by the matter at hand.

Edward winced at the sudden exit made by James. He didn't dare open his eyes. The abrupt movement told him of James' reaction. There was little reason for wishing that he'd told him beforehand, though James wondered why he hadn't. Sure, he could be a little unpredictable. But that's exactly why, he sighed. Then he remembered, in his turmoil, Edward was still at the forefront of this. His expression tugged on his heartstrings, one of terror and embarrassment, a couple of tears seeping through his closed eyes. James couldn't comprehend why he felt this way. He had to provide some clarity.

"Eddie," He bore a slight tone of disappointment. It echoed, why didn't you tell me? A gesture of comfort that was more than Edward could have ever hoped for. The apprehension released his face and relief flooded his expression. He erupted into tears but didn't sob, just took deep breaths that weren't riddled with tension.

James couldn't have Edward like this. He wouldn't. He shrouded him in a comforting embrace that was gentle enough to be released from when Edward was ready. James remained silent, listening intently for the moment when his breathing became as calm as when he slept, when fresh tears stopped trickling down his chest. He found himself swaying ever so slightly.

When he felt Edward's arms reflect the embrace, James felt assured that he could function a little better. The shock would've subdued. He gave Edward a little nudge so his voice would not alarm him after their lengthy silence. When Edward slipped away from the embrace and finally came to face his partner, more relief refreshed his psyche.

"Hey," James began, as if saying 'hello.' "So, who are you, then?"

Feeling coated in confidence, Edward spoke like he'd just read the mark scheme of an exam he was sitting that day, "I'm Edward. I'm 34 but feel like I'm a hundred and…nineteen or something, I don't know. And I'm male. I wasn't always but I am now, even though I… still… have a… vagina. There, anything else?" He cringed at that statement, at himself. Fuck, it was absurd.

"Yeah. What made you feel like you couldn't tell me?" James probed. He wouldn't make Edward feel so uncomfortable that he'd withhold something this significant again.

"Because you're gay, for god's sake," Edward spluttered, the guilt welling up in his eyes. This reception made him wonder what he was ever apprehensive about.

"Eddie, do you…?" James paused when he noticed more upset. He tucked him into another embrace, "Do you honestly think I care what's in your Calvin's?" He thought about that himself for a moment and understood Edward's behavior, to an extent, "After we've got this far?"

"I know. I know," He popped an apologetic kiss on James' neck, "I don't know why I couldn't. It's crazy. I-."

"No, do you know what is crazy, Edward?" James sternly began, "Why you've still got a vag' when it makes you this uncomfortable. Why haven't you got rid of it?" He wanted answers and it was the least Edward could give him, if he wasn't so impatient and actually let him respond, "You know they can do operations that actually give you like, a fully working piece."

"Yes, I do know, James," He chuckled uncomfortably. Given what they'd just been doing and had done in the past, this kind of talk shouldn't have made him squirm.

"Or do you not fancy the idea of having a chunk taken out of your leg?"

"Well, there is that."

"…And?" James inquired, "I know there's more." He was far too assumptious but often correct in those assumptions.

"It doesn't matter. It's not relevant at the moment." In truth, Edward was just tired now. He didn't have the energy nor the inclination to discuss it, despite James' appearing more open-minded than he'd first thought.

"And you havin' a vag', was that not relevant 10 minutes ago?" James raised an eyebrow, "I want you to be able to talk to me. You can't keep secrets like this from me Eddie, not if it's gonna make you this upset."

Edward whined a little. Of course, he appreciated the gesture but he really just wanted to put his head down. "Alright, okay. Now, I'm not thinking _now_ or anything but...I wanted to…have kids one day." James couldn't help but smile, though he refrained from having a mini-fist-pump moment. It was something they'd never talked about, presumably because they were afraid that the other would want something different; kids or dogs. It thrilled him to think about the future they might have together but he had to come back to reality when Edward continued, "I know there's a lot of kids out there that need parents but I just… I wanted my own kids, so I could relate to them more. Is that horrid of me?" He asked, his eyes tainted with concern.

"No, Eddie, I know what you mean babe," James figured that the only person who would ever truly understand his mannerisms, more so than Edward, would be an extension of himself, "You know, we could have had a surrogate. The baby would still be ours like, they'd put our genes in it and everything."

Edward shook his head, not at James' primitive description of surrogacy, mind, "James, I couldn't put another woman through that."

"Do you think I could put you through that? I did pay attention to that childbirth clip I was shown in Year 6 at Primary."

"And you'd let our surrogate mother experience that?!"

"I don't care."

"James!"

"What? If she volunteers, she should know what she's getting herself into!"

"Oh my _god_ ," Edward spluttered into a chuckle which faded into a deep yawn, unintentionally but again, rather convenient.

"Tired, babe?" James asked, though he knew the answer. He brought himself away from the embrace, only to get a better look at Edward's expression, so he could tell if he was being resilient.

"A little," Edward admitted, "Sorry, we didn't get to-."

"Don't you dare, come on," James slipped his arm over Edward's shoulders, leading him to salvation in the form of a pillow. He received a grateful peck on his hand and neck, though they were a little sluggish, stemming from Edward's tiredness after the evening's excitement. He was still awake though, so James butted through the silence, "Just for next time though, where do want me to stick it, like?" Edward raised an eyebrow this time, with a little smirk, admiring how cautious but blunt James could be. The silence didn't satisfy him, "No, seriously because I don't wanna violate you or make you feel uncomfortable or anything. Give me a clue."

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Author's Note:

For those of you wondering how the _hell_ my brain managed to conjure this up, this stems from several comments I've seen from members of the fandom in which they claim that when they were younger, they thought Edward was a girl. Though I can't say I saw him in the same way as a child, when drawing him now, I do find that he does look a little effeminate. I think it's the shape of his eyes. My mind just started concocting this story and what can I say but I hope you get enjoyment out of it.

Please leave **constructive criticism** if any. Petty hate comments criticizing the plot or the subject matter will not aid me as a writer and will be removed.

Edward and James, Thomas And Friends © HIT Entertainment.

Fan-fiction © Teenage-Oddball


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